Eh...
It's a nice effort, but
You chose a topic that's a little too close to home.
When showing this to other writers, you're letting it loose on a community of people that have almost unquestionably felt the same thing, time and time again. There's so many different shades to writers block, that you can't sum it up in a captivating way without very picky word choice.
Sure, race the lines
growing from the roadsides; you'll go nowhere.
This night is white painted squares
tracing back fast
behind, like paper
animations—aren't you just
a perfect outline of lead.
Aren't you just
this dead, dusty angel
riding shotgun; going somewhere
not safe, not to the home you knew.
That place...
